Calling Time Out

As I sit down after a long but great Sunday and sip my tea I have a yearning for a time-out. That phrase can make most children stop in their tracks. The thought of getting time out is one of the worst things that can happen to a six year old, being forced to sit out while those around us are busy having fun. I have grown older and somewhat wiser over my past 28 years I have come to appreciate the discipline that time out brings. The dictionary defines time-out as a brief suspension of activity; intermission or break or a short interruption in a regular period of play during which a referee or other official stops the clock so that the players may rest, deliberate, make substitutions, etc.

Recently, my appreciation taking time outs has been abstract rather than practical. I know that I need to suspend my activity so that I may rest and deliberate, but it seems for the past several weeks I have allowed my days to rule me rather than me ruling my days. I spend my time constantly running from one thing to the next, never fully involved in what I am doing. Constant activity brings the exhaustion that comes from lack of rest, neglecting the time out.

Yesterday, I spent several hours stacking firewood. The great thing about physical labor is it gives the mind time to rest. During that time I allowed my mind to wonder at will and I was able to deliberate on the happenings of the past few weeks. It seems that these weeks have been filled with very profound events that I have not given sufficient consideration. It seems easier to go along without a time out to think than to face the notion of contemplation of difficult topics. Not only have I neglected my pondering, I have also not given into the release of putting pen to paper, fingers to keyboard. There are some things that are just pure relief: reading the Scripture, Prayer, reading, writing, photography, meditation and conversation. It seems that I have not allowed myself much time to invest in any of these endeavors. My creative self is like a muscle that has atrophied with lack of activity.

Through good and bad I have been able to maintain my duties, those things that must be done usually for others. I go to work, pay bills, go to church, small group, Bible study and theology studies. I do what is asked of me without argument or complaint, at least vocalized complaint.
Now my heart has had enough and is not letting me go any further. As I sip my tea and deliberate my situations I am reminded that the maintenance of my mind, heart and soul is my primary task. By running from task to task without a time out I am actually cheating myself and those around by not fully participating in life. One of my most intense fears is that I will not live my life to the fullest. The worst use of my time is letting it slip by never to get it back again. I have a keen awareness that life is short and the and its specific length is unknown to all but God.

As I sit feeling the warmth of the fire and listening to the quiet of the empty house I am taking a time out, enjoying the act of expression and resting my heart before stepping out into the week ahead.