After much thought I have come to a very important conclusion about myself. I am... a rescuer. I am not talking about small animals from trees or little birds that learned that the nest is a long way up. However, if I did come upon small animal stuck in a large and ominous looking Douglas Fir or Maple I am sure I would help out. I am talking bigger than trees. I am figuring out that I am wired to rescue. The idea of coming to the aid of those who are in need makes my heart feel full. I think that is why I like my job so much. Oh, and in ministry to see a lives be turned around, that's the money. And girls.... Well, don't get me started - yet.
As every girl wants to have the knight ride up on a white horse and rush her off to happily ever after, I think all (or most) guys sometime in the lives long to be the guy on the horse. When I think about getting all dressed up in a big metal get-up with big sword and shield and a horse named.... well, I will worry about the name later. Okay back to the story. So being all dressed up with my Knightly stuff ready to ride off and get my girl. Well, not exactly. I first have to go into some kind of battle to free the kingdom from some kind of menace: a dragon, or evil wizard or a huge army of invaders. Or the other metal clad jerk who is trying to get his grubby gauntlets on my girl. I digress.
Going to battle is scary! Battle is where people get hurt. I can still hear my Grandmother's faithful words. "Don't play with sticks because someone is going to get hurt." Well trade in those sticks for swords and there you go. Certain injury - someone is going to lose something. Our nice air-conditioned super-connected, multi function and disinfected world the idea of going to battle is not embraced. Why fight when we can have everything we possibly want at our finger tips? Fighting is so hard and dirty and bloody and dismembering. So the other choice is to not go to battle and play it safe at home. And that is where I tend to find myself.
Oh good... Yippee playing it safe at home. That's fun. Playing it safe is not going to make by heart leap. It is going to leave me bitter and empty. There is only so much home improvement TV one can watch before he wants to kill something. (I.e. do battle) just from sheer boredom.
And in that boredom I get stuck. Mired down in the waiting, thinking, planning and strategizing for that day that never seems to come. One of my favorite movies is "Glory" with Matthew Broderick. It is about the first black regiment of troops for the civil war. The idea of stepping up and being part of the battle for their freedom is woven through the whole movie. For these men sitting on the sidelines while someone else goes to battle for them was no longer an option. They had to fight to prove to the world and to themselves that they were men. At one point in the story the men get used to perform manual labor rather than fight. When this happened the spark and drive sustained them was gone, they no longer had a purpose worth fighting for. Doing manual labor? Who would want do dig ditches while what they wanted most was hanging on the line? It was not until they actually got to fix their bayonets and go to war with the enemy did they feel like they were winning their freedom and being men. Each man had something worth fighting for. He was on his horse and doing what he was designed to do; fight for something bigger and more important than himself. Something he could give his life to.
What you ask does this have to do with life in good old Washington? Well on the surface nothing. I am not going to go around town with a sword or rife and bayonet to do battle. That's just crazy. Deeper down it has everything to do with how God has wired my heart and how I must live. To give all I have to do battle. To kill the menace and free the kingdom or village and to sweep the princess up and to ride off into the happily ever after. That is what my heart needs that is what I was made for.
In order to go into battle for my King (Jesus) or my lady (to be determined) I must be ready to risk. To put it on the line so my heart can be set free to rescue, to fight, to save and to love. Without that all I have is existance. I don't want to simply exist I want to live.
Wish me luck! Here I go, off to battle for the first time. Better late then never. Someday to ride off into the sunset.
